Marital Emotions

http://wanderonwards.com/2013/12/30/23-things-to-do-instead-of-getting-engaged-before-youre-23/

I'm procrastinating by catching up on all that I've missed in the blogosphere. Don't worry about it. 

If my lack of sleep is truly killing me the way science seems to indicate, then young married couples kill me emotionally. Maybe it's the way I was raised. Maybe it's who my parents are and how they taught me to be. Whatever the reason, I just cannot seem to figure out how in the world people are okay just getting married and resigning to the rest of their lives at such absurdly young ages. 

My mom and dad were 27 and 30 respectively when they got married. Eight years and two kids later, they got divorced. They're both bitter and angry about it. They ignore it usually, and that's how my sister and I were always taught to think of my parents' relationship. Something horrendously negative. 

That being said, I'm in no way against marriage. My grandparents are forty years into a living, breathing screenplay of "The Notebook". I've seen marriage done well. It happens very rarely, and I find that to be tremendously saddening, but I have seen it done. 

So here's where I'm going with this. Age is not a factor. Like I said, my parents were both well into their own adult lives. Look what happened to the two of them. I also have friends whose parents got married right out of high school, and they're celebrating their twentieth anniversaries. No, the success of marriage does not at all depend on the age of the persons getting married. The success of a marriage depends on the state of mind that both of those people are in. 

As demonstrated by this article, twenty-somethings are notoriously free spirits. They want to do exactly what they want, when they want to do it. They're inherently selfish. That sounds awful, but it's important to go through a selfish phase in your life. Be with people you want to be with. Do only what you want to do, and go where you want to go. If you don't take care if yourself in your twenties, you're really going to hate yourself when you're 50. 

I truly believe that if you go about your own little life, love will find you if it is indeed that right course of action for you. Hell, it might find you anyway, regardless of whether or not you're a good candidate. What do I know? There's no reason for twenty-somethings- people who are supposed to be focused solely on themselves- to be doting over a husband. Seriously, in my book, if you've got anymore than a boyfriend and a dog at twenty-five, do not pass GO, do not collect $200- you're headed straight for jail. And why do that to yourself? Why put up so many boundaries and walls and fences when you're so young? Why get stuck watching the rest of your life fly by from your cozy seat inside a princess-cut platinum band?

Sleep Wanted

http://www.policymic.com/articles/87653/here-s-a-surprising-look-at-what-sleep-deprivation-does-to-your-body

If you're a college student and you read this article and you are not two-hundred and fifty-two percent terrified by it, then you're doing college wrong.

I'm sitting here at four AM on a Monday morning, hastily pulling together all of my assignments that were neglected all weekend. Truly there is no worse time to be a college kid than on a Sunday night. Everything's happening all at once, and my chronic procrastination habits have almost caught up to me. This is one of the six or so all-nighters that I have pulled this semester. I wouldn't even say that it's been an awful semester. Just kind of an average one.

Then I find this nerve-rattling article. I wouldn't say I suffer from chronic sleep depravation. I enjoy the actual act of sleeping too much. I generally get somewhere between seven and ten hours on a school night. On the weekends, I prefer not to set an alarm and just sleep until I wake up. That generally results in anywhere between twelve and fifteen hours, depending on how trying a week I'm coming off of.

I focused more on the "What one night of sleep deprivation will do to you," which, once again, was a stupid thing to do at four AM on a Monday. I'm sitting here doing everything I can to come off like a polished, put-together student (through my work, at least- my appearance is a battle for another day.) And while I'm doing that, I'm becoming more emotional (go figure), losing brain tissue (like I have much to spare) and increasing my risk of seriously injuring myself in a car accident. Why would I want to do that? Why would ANYONE deliberate choose (because ultimately that's what I did- I have no one to blame but myself for this stupid situation that I'm in) to do this to themselves?

Finals are rapidly approaching, and after reading this article, I will seriously reconsider my habitual decision to put everything off and stay up all night trying to recover it before I fumble miserably. It literally helps nothing. Not my social life, not my health, not my eating habits, my stress levels- nothing. My health has never been a primary concern of mine, but this article was enough to scare me into re-organizing my priorities.

Hometown Pride

There’s something to be said about leaving your hometown. The further you go and the bigger the culture change, the tougher it is to be in an unfamiliar place with unfamiliar people. I’m a native Texan, and I stayed in Texas for college, but I miss home. It’s only 250 miles away, but it might as well be another state. That’s the only way I can explain the irrational excitement I have when I meet someone from my hometown.

I attended a banquet this past week, and the gentleman I sat next to graduated from my high school, which is so rare. I’m from Friendswood, a suburb of Houston with 30,000 residents. My graduating class had five hundred people in it. It’s not easy to find someone who knows where Friendswood is, let alone someone who lived and went to school there.

We instantly had something to talk about- small-town drama, the teachers that have been there for as long as anyone can remember. It’s a trip down memory lane, and sometimes that’s exactly what you need.

Friendswood is one of those towns you don’t see much of anymore. Life centers around the high school. There’s no worse night to be on the roads than Homecoming. Restaurants stay open late on Friday nights to catch the crowd leaving the game. People ask you about your parents and your family all the time. Not everyone likes that slow-paced small- town life, but to find someone who shares your love for the same little small town creates this little feeling that maybe not everyone in an unfamiliar place is so unfamiliar. Maybe the kinds of people you know and love aren’t exclusive to your hometown. And maybe, that hometown feeling can leave with you when you go.

Easier Said Than Done

I have a bad habit. Okay, I probably actually have a few. But if I had to pick the worst one, it would be my ability to hold a grudge. I’m 95% sure it’s hereditary. If there’s anyone worse than me at holding grudges, it’s my mom and my sister. But that’s never the part that bugs me. I don’t mind grudges being held against me. It bothers me that I can’t ever seem to let them go.

Why is that? Why can I not let anything slide? I forgive. Or at least I think I do. I just say a prayer for the dumb individual and acknowledge that their bad breeding and tasteless ways are not their fault. But I don’t let it go. I’ve got a wicked cold shoulder, and I wield it quite well. I will quite literally hold a grudge for years. And I have no remorse about it, nor do I ever have a desire to fix it. Unless you can logically reason with me and convince me that I was in the wrong. Then you might see some remorse. A very limited amount, but remorse nonetheless.

I think what happens is that I can take things very personally.  My first reaction is to get angry. Whether the person lets me down, doesn’t do their job correctly or just says something stupid. My initial response is anger. On what planet is okay for you to let that come out of your mouth? Who taught you that it’s okay to ask massive favors at the absolute last minute? Why does no one have any common decency anymore? And that’s where I start really getting into trouble- when I start making sweeping generalizations about humanity. My emotions just snowball, and then I end up blaming it all on that one ignorant soul who made me mad in the first place.

Now that I’ve concluded my rant, here’s where I was going with this. I want to get better at it. I want to forgive faster and let go sooner. I want the burden off of me, because that’s what I do when I give my cold shoulder. I’m the only one putting any energy into the relationship, and that energy is potently negative. In an effort to achieve this quicker rate of forgiveness, I want to employ the mantra of “Kill them with kindness.” Now I’m talking small steps here. I’m not a philanthropist. I just want to stop putting any negative energy in. I don’t really even have to be nice. I just have to quit letting it bug me. Wish me luck!