A Lesson in People-Watching

I spent this evening handing out nametags to a collection of class reunions. There were graduates celebrating five years out of school all the way through fifty-five. Ages varied, and so did attitudes. Some guests would climb the stairs with a smile on their faces, while others carried themselves with an air of arrogance and a perpetual look of complete disengagement.  Some would crack jokes as I quickly thumbed through the nametags, and other would look on disdainfully as though they had somewhere else to be.

You get used to the varied reactions. You deal with it. Not a big deal. But you remember who acted what way, and one of the greatest satisfactions is watching your favorites (from either the indignant or the benevolent crowd) navigate the evening.

Let me preface everything by stating that there was an open bar. Just think about that for a minute. Whether I liked the person or not, they all got infinitely more interesting as the evening wore on.

But here’s the truly interesting pattern that I gathered. Obviously the patrons gathered based on their class year. But there were divisions even further within the group. There was an amicable, social group in each year, and then there was everyone else. By everyone else, I mean the individuals who walked in in an emotional straightjacket and refused to take it off. Everyone stayed through dinner. But after dinner, when everyone was comfortably social, the people who’d copped an attitude with me walked out. And not together. Either with their spouse or by themselves.

In sharp contrast, the friendly alums lingered long after the last dish had been cleared. They spoke to people within their class, and even ventured outside. Somehow, they found each other, and couples left in groups of eight or ten. They could be overheard making plans to head to such-and-such bar afterwards, or planning a dinner over the summer.

My final analysis supports the idea that nice people go further, and have more fun. They just do. It’s so much easier to show up to an event and be cordial than it is to keep your guard up all night and keep everyone out so that you can leave by yourself, thoroughly miserable. If you've ever walked into an event like you’ve got something against everyone (maybe you haven't ever, and good on you!), how was your networking that evening? Was there room for improvement? Maybe you'd like to embrace a more amicable approach. You've got nothing to lose, and could win a new connection!