Pop Music + Feminism= Pop Feminism????

"There's a Big Problem With Meghan Trainor's Music That Nobody's Talking About"

http://mic.com/articles/118136/meghan-trainor-threatens-to-undo-everything-feminist-pop-stars-have-accomplished

Let's get one thing straight here: it's not easy to get me agitated. I go through life with a base level of cynicism and sarcastic remarks, but I am very rarely bonafide angry. This website, Mic, has an impressive track record of popping up on my Facebook timeline and ruffling my feathers. I don't go seeking this kind of thing out. Apparently a good deal of my friends are way more politically left-leaning than they let on, and Facebook thinks because we're friends we have to like the same stuff. Thanksssss, Facebook. Andddd there's my cynicism. 

Moving on to this article in particular. As far as feminism goes, I'm a big proponent of the ideals behind it. What kind of woman would I be if I wasn't...? But we need a modern term for it. Same ideas, different title. Because even I lived the better part of 20 years thinking all feminists were radical bra-burners who never shaved their armpits and 7 out of 10 times was a lesbian. I don't know what kind of new term I'm looking for... Just something with a cleaner history for now and we'll keep working on it ;) 

What bothers me most about this particular article is the way Meghan Trainor is singled out. Has she ever claimed to be a feminist? No. Beyonce, T-Swift and Rihanna? More so. That's where this author is pulling this "coattails of pop feminism" idea from. However, Beyonce gets to put out songs promoting feminism, and in the same album, she's singing about getting "drunk in love" and her man "popping all buttons off her blouse" and "Monica-Lewinsky-ing all on [her] gown." Where are her critics? How the hell does any of that paint women in an empowering role?

Meghan Trainor never pretends to be anything other than what she is. She's not trying to be some feminist role model. In defense of her latest song, "Dear Future Husband," she has men lining up at her door to take her out on regular old dates in the music video. There's no smudging of lipstick, ripping of blouses and certainly no Moncia-Lewinsky-ing. 

You're gonna call Meghan out for not being the most forward-thinking feminist? Call her music "what it is"? Careful what you wish for, because you're talking about the demise of modern pop radio here. Women are constantly painted in extremely sexualized contexts. Trainor's music is refreshing because for once, she makes it seem like women have the slightest bit of control. Is it radically feminist? No, but that's not what she ever claimed to be.  

Ultimately, it's just a bad idea to judge artists on their lyrics. Lyrics make songs, songs make albums and albums turn into tours and ridiculous profit. Lyrics are how artists make their living. If it's a suggestive lyric but it works with the rhythm and the vibe, then by god, that's the lyric that's going in the song. Regardless of whether or not it adheres to their personal opinions on feminism, the state of the economy or world freaking peace. 

A Lesson in People-Watching

I spent this evening handing out nametags to a collection of class reunions. There were graduates celebrating five years out of school all the way through fifty-five. Ages varied, and so did attitudes. Some guests would climb the stairs with a smile on their faces, while others carried themselves with an air of arrogance and a perpetual look of complete disengagement.  Some would crack jokes as I quickly thumbed through the nametags, and other would look on disdainfully as though they had somewhere else to be.

You get used to the varied reactions. You deal with it. Not a big deal. But you remember who acted what way, and one of the greatest satisfactions is watching your favorites (from either the indignant or the benevolent crowd) navigate the evening.

Let me preface everything by stating that there was an open bar. Just think about that for a minute. Whether I liked the person or not, they all got infinitely more interesting as the evening wore on.

But here’s the truly interesting pattern that I gathered. Obviously the patrons gathered based on their class year. But there were divisions even further within the group. There was an amicable, social group in each year, and then there was everyone else. By everyone else, I mean the individuals who walked in in an emotional straightjacket and refused to take it off. Everyone stayed through dinner. But after dinner, when everyone was comfortably social, the people who’d copped an attitude with me walked out. And not together. Either with their spouse or by themselves.

In sharp contrast, the friendly alums lingered long after the last dish had been cleared. They spoke to people within their class, and even ventured outside. Somehow, they found each other, and couples left in groups of eight or ten. They could be overheard making plans to head to such-and-such bar afterwards, or planning a dinner over the summer.

My final analysis supports the idea that nice people go further, and have more fun. They just do. It’s so much easier to show up to an event and be cordial than it is to keep your guard up all night and keep everyone out so that you can leave by yourself, thoroughly miserable. If you've ever walked into an event like you’ve got something against everyone (maybe you haven't ever, and good on you!), how was your networking that evening? Was there room for improvement? Maybe you'd like to embrace a more amicable approach. You've got nothing to lose, and could win a new connection!

Marital Emotions

http://wanderonwards.com/2013/12/30/23-things-to-do-instead-of-getting-engaged-before-youre-23/

I'm procrastinating by catching up on all that I've missed in the blogosphere. Don't worry about it. 

If my lack of sleep is truly killing me the way science seems to indicate, then young married couples kill me emotionally. Maybe it's the way I was raised. Maybe it's who my parents are and how they taught me to be. Whatever the reason, I just cannot seem to figure out how in the world people are okay just getting married and resigning to the rest of their lives at such absurdly young ages. 

My mom and dad were 27 and 30 respectively when they got married. Eight years and two kids later, they got divorced. They're both bitter and angry about it. They ignore it usually, and that's how my sister and I were always taught to think of my parents' relationship. Something horrendously negative. 

That being said, I'm in no way against marriage. My grandparents are forty years into a living, breathing screenplay of "The Notebook". I've seen marriage done well. It happens very rarely, and I find that to be tremendously saddening, but I have seen it done. 

So here's where I'm going with this. Age is not a factor. Like I said, my parents were both well into their own adult lives. Look what happened to the two of them. I also have friends whose parents got married right out of high school, and they're celebrating their twentieth anniversaries. No, the success of marriage does not at all depend on the age of the persons getting married. The success of a marriage depends on the state of mind that both of those people are in. 

As demonstrated by this article, twenty-somethings are notoriously free spirits. They want to do exactly what they want, when they want to do it. They're inherently selfish. That sounds awful, but it's important to go through a selfish phase in your life. Be with people you want to be with. Do only what you want to do, and go where you want to go. If you don't take care if yourself in your twenties, you're really going to hate yourself when you're 50. 

I truly believe that if you go about your own little life, love will find you if it is indeed that right course of action for you. Hell, it might find you anyway, regardless of whether or not you're a good candidate. What do I know? There's no reason for twenty-somethings- people who are supposed to be focused solely on themselves- to be doting over a husband. Seriously, in my book, if you've got anymore than a boyfriend and a dog at twenty-five, do not pass GO, do not collect $200- you're headed straight for jail. And why do that to yourself? Why put up so many boundaries and walls and fences when you're so young? Why get stuck watching the rest of your life fly by from your cozy seat inside a princess-cut platinum band?

Sleep Wanted

http://www.policymic.com/articles/87653/here-s-a-surprising-look-at-what-sleep-deprivation-does-to-your-body

If you're a college student and you read this article and you are not two-hundred and fifty-two percent terrified by it, then you're doing college wrong.

I'm sitting here at four AM on a Monday morning, hastily pulling together all of my assignments that were neglected all weekend. Truly there is no worse time to be a college kid than on a Sunday night. Everything's happening all at once, and my chronic procrastination habits have almost caught up to me. This is one of the six or so all-nighters that I have pulled this semester. I wouldn't even say that it's been an awful semester. Just kind of an average one.

Then I find this nerve-rattling article. I wouldn't say I suffer from chronic sleep depravation. I enjoy the actual act of sleeping too much. I generally get somewhere between seven and ten hours on a school night. On the weekends, I prefer not to set an alarm and just sleep until I wake up. That generally results in anywhere between twelve and fifteen hours, depending on how trying a week I'm coming off of.

I focused more on the "What one night of sleep deprivation will do to you," which, once again, was a stupid thing to do at four AM on a Monday. I'm sitting here doing everything I can to come off like a polished, put-together student (through my work, at least- my appearance is a battle for another day.) And while I'm doing that, I'm becoming more emotional (go figure), losing brain tissue (like I have much to spare) and increasing my risk of seriously injuring myself in a car accident. Why would I want to do that? Why would ANYONE deliberate choose (because ultimately that's what I did- I have no one to blame but myself for this stupid situation that I'm in) to do this to themselves?

Finals are rapidly approaching, and after reading this article, I will seriously reconsider my habitual decision to put everything off and stay up all night trying to recover it before I fumble miserably. It literally helps nothing. Not my social life, not my health, not my eating habits, my stress levels- nothing. My health has never been a primary concern of mine, but this article was enough to scare me into re-organizing my priorities.

Hometown Pride

There’s something to be said about leaving your hometown. The further you go and the bigger the culture change, the tougher it is to be in an unfamiliar place with unfamiliar people. I’m a native Texan, and I stayed in Texas for college, but I miss home. It’s only 250 miles away, but it might as well be another state. That’s the only way I can explain the irrational excitement I have when I meet someone from my hometown.

I attended a banquet this past week, and the gentleman I sat next to graduated from my high school, which is so rare. I’m from Friendswood, a suburb of Houston with 30,000 residents. My graduating class had five hundred people in it. It’s not easy to find someone who knows where Friendswood is, let alone someone who lived and went to school there.

We instantly had something to talk about- small-town drama, the teachers that have been there for as long as anyone can remember. It’s a trip down memory lane, and sometimes that’s exactly what you need.

Friendswood is one of those towns you don’t see much of anymore. Life centers around the high school. There’s no worse night to be on the roads than Homecoming. Restaurants stay open late on Friday nights to catch the crowd leaving the game. People ask you about your parents and your family all the time. Not everyone likes that slow-paced small- town life, but to find someone who shares your love for the same little small town creates this little feeling that maybe not everyone in an unfamiliar place is so unfamiliar. Maybe the kinds of people you know and love aren’t exclusive to your hometown. And maybe, that hometown feeling can leave with you when you go.

Easier Said Than Done

I have a bad habit. Okay, I probably actually have a few. But if I had to pick the worst one, it would be my ability to hold a grudge. I’m 95% sure it’s hereditary. If there’s anyone worse than me at holding grudges, it’s my mom and my sister. But that’s never the part that bugs me. I don’t mind grudges being held against me. It bothers me that I can’t ever seem to let them go.

Why is that? Why can I not let anything slide? I forgive. Or at least I think I do. I just say a prayer for the dumb individual and acknowledge that their bad breeding and tasteless ways are not their fault. But I don’t let it go. I’ve got a wicked cold shoulder, and I wield it quite well. I will quite literally hold a grudge for years. And I have no remorse about it, nor do I ever have a desire to fix it. Unless you can logically reason with me and convince me that I was in the wrong. Then you might see some remorse. A very limited amount, but remorse nonetheless.

I think what happens is that I can take things very personally.  My first reaction is to get angry. Whether the person lets me down, doesn’t do their job correctly or just says something stupid. My initial response is anger. On what planet is okay for you to let that come out of your mouth? Who taught you that it’s okay to ask massive favors at the absolute last minute? Why does no one have any common decency anymore? And that’s where I start really getting into trouble- when I start making sweeping generalizations about humanity. My emotions just snowball, and then I end up blaming it all on that one ignorant soul who made me mad in the first place.

Now that I’ve concluded my rant, here’s where I was going with this. I want to get better at it. I want to forgive faster and let go sooner. I want the burden off of me, because that’s what I do when I give my cold shoulder. I’m the only one putting any energy into the relationship, and that energy is potently negative. In an effort to achieve this quicker rate of forgiveness, I want to employ the mantra of “Kill them with kindness.” Now I’m talking small steps here. I’m not a philanthropist. I just want to stop putting any negative energy in. I don’t really even have to be nice. I just have to quit letting it bug me. Wish me luck!

Underground Political Society

            I recently attended an hour-long panel discussion of political professionals at SMU, and I thoroughly believe I have solved the mystery as to where all of our noble and virtuous politicians are hiding.

            I love politics. Ever since I can remember, I loved watching the nightly news with my family. I waited for the big news story from Washington or Austin. I’ve always been captivated by the principle of politics. Politicians have earned the respect of their constituents and they enforce a mission that the Founding Fathers began over 200 years ago. It always seemed so honorable to be chosen to ascend to such a position. That was when I began to consider a career in politics.

            In the years since, my commitment has not waivered. I continue to monitor political happenings both in Washington and Austin. However, my attitudes and opinions have begun to shift. For one thing, it’s incredibly difficult to find any politician who is not positively obsessed with his or her re-election. Yes, it is important to listen to your constituents in order to most accurately represent their interests. However, your constituents should be at the very core of all of your decisions. Every vote, every piece of legislation that you put your name on- it needs to be done with those constituents in mind. Not lobbyists. Not arm-twisters. Not even party lines.

            That’s I find the root of this problem. I knew coming in to SMU that I wanted to be a Political Science and each time I announce that, I am hit with the question “Oh, so you want to go to law school?” to which I answer “No.” (I ruled out law school a long time ago- my opinions are not for sale and I would have a terrible time representing clients who were of a different opinion.) The prompt reply is “Then you must want to be a politician?”, and for a long time, the answer was a “Maybe,” or a “We’ll see.” However, given the recent news coming from Washington, I’ve decided that I could never be a politician either. Sadly (and ironically), they’ve become too much like lawyers. Their opinions are constantly for sale, and they’re even less willing to compromise, particularly across the aisle.

            I have been interested in and fascinated by politics my whole life. I genuinely desired to be a politician. I have a desire to be a public servant. I would be a well-qualified candidate, and I fit the descriptions given at the panel- willing to work hard, character to stand up and do the right thing. Here’s the problem: if a textbook candidate like myself doesn’t feel comfortable entering Washington in its current state, then who does?

            Put simply, the wrong types of people. People who care exclusively about money and power and re-elections and not about the goals and missions set forth by our Founding Fathers all those years ago. Washington “insiders” aren’t insiders at all- they’re people with the power to manipulate and get what they want. Until we find a way to reverse this trend, and bring honesty back to Washington, the true politicians will remain as far from Washington as possible.